Unlabeled and Unnecessary

I know this probably comes as a bit of a surprise to everyone, but over Spring Break while at Busch Gardens, I proposed to Xandy. The ring I gave her was actually kinda big so she's wearing it on a gold chain for now lol. Hopefully we'll fix that soon.

So I guess that kinda makes Animazement our Engagement Party? Well it'll be a party for sure anyway lol.

I have just reserved 1 room with 2 double beds. One bed is completely taken no exceptions. Anyone else wanna bunk with me? And I hope you don't have a problem with any displays of affection (nothing unsightly) I have with my girlfriend either.

I'm getting a little tired of my so called friends who make no effort to contact me for weeks and even months. After weeks and months of hearing nothing from them, and not going out anywhere because usually you wanna go out with friends, I give in to desperation and try and do something with them. Half the time I feel like I'm intruding on what they were gonna do with their friends. Is it me? I mean am I not liked by anyone and the only bone they throw me when I have to practically beg is because they pity me? I dunno I just feel like I don't have any real friends when I have to make a real effort to try and hang out with the people I thought were my friends. It's gotten to a point that with some people I just don't wanna bother anymore cause I know it's just gonna feel awkward. I understand if people are busy in the middle of the week and all, and aren't free for some weekends. But I have a feeling at least half the people I know have already gone to so Pirates 3. I wouldn't know for sure because I don't get calls or emails or IMs to go out and do anything. Was the big cookout at my place last year just to take advantage of a free and private area to meet up and eat food? I figured it was a show of friendship but now I have to wonder.

This is not a Toku for kids. That's right, Toku ain't just your runofthemill Kamen Rider and Super Sentai. They do other stuff as well. I'm almost done downloading it fansubbed from TVNihon. Anyone interested in getting together and watching some?

For those of you still in the dark about it, a while ago I was told of this awesome site, Galbadia Hotel, that has pretty much every available anime and game soundtrack, with the exception of, ironically enough, the Final Fantasy games and movies. I say ironically because Galbadia Hotel is from Final Fantasy, and their banner is made from clips of Advent Children. Check em out anyway, http://gh.ffshrine.org/soundtracks.php?r=3828

Oh and they also have artbooks and mangas, which my friend Alejandro just loves.

Well as expected, almost no one remembered my birthday, AGAIN. A total of three people remembered for themselves (maybe). I don't count anyone on Facebook who wished me a happy birthday because Facebook tells you when someone's birthday is coming up. Not only that, but a person who is supposed to be like my brother, my best friend from Florida, didn't call. He hasn't called in the past three months, but it wasn't any other day on Monday either.

I'm sure anyone who actually reads this is going "But you don't even wish me a happy birthday." I would, if I was given even the slightest hint that it's anyone's birthday. Just as I would understand it if no one had been aware of my birthday. However, every year prior, I've always said "Yeah it's my birthday tomorrow" and what not, and it's the same time every year, which is also around the time of the State Fair here, so it's not hard to remember. This year I didn't bother trying to remind anyone because honestly, I just don't feel like anyone cares anyway. Take last year for example. I wanted to go to the fair with all my friends on the week of my birthday. First person I go to tell this to is Jesse, who I might add seems to be avoiding me and everyone else or something I dunno. Conversation essentially goes as follows.

Me: Hey, I was thinking we could all go to the fair with it being around my birthday.
Jesse: Well we were already all going on Thursday.
Me: Oh okay, well I'm free Thursday so that sounds good. Where should we meet?
Jesse: I'd have to see if it's okay with Luis first.

That day was either Monday or Tuesday. Most of my friends were at the fair on Thursday, which I did go to. This conversation told me two things. No one even considered inviting me to the fair AT ALL, and apparently the fact that it was my birthday means jack shit, seeing as one person needed to be asked if it was alright that I went to the fair with them. That one person didn't even stay with us half the time, and left early. What the hell? It's my damn birthday. You could at least pretend that means something.

I don't know why I bother making a big deal out of this. No one cares. A maximum of three or four people read my journal, two to three of which only do so when they see an entry in their friendslist and it interests them. I really should just give up on expecting anything from anybody. I give up so much for other people, and for what? I try and hold on to friendships where the other person probably couldn't care less if I dropped off the face of the planet. I sacrifice my hard earned money, my commitment to other things, my parents' trust and respect in me, and it's fruitless. It's like trying to fill an empty water tower with my spit, going and going until my mouth is so dry it hurts.

I'm always the nice guy, letting everyone walk all over me. Just look at my relationships, or attempts at relationships.

With Chandra, I feel like what ever I was able to sacrifice for the relationship was never enough because circumstances outside of my control kept arising in which I couldn't give her the one thing she wanted, which was to see me sooner rather than later. And the tighter I tried to hold on, because I knew she was slipping away, the further she went, until I found myself agreeing to take a break that I didn't want to do, and her going out with a guy who asked her out a week later, and in a month seeing in her blog that she was falling for the guy. I know I did a lot of bad things in my attempt to keep her to myself, but it didn't make it hurt less when things went sour. I don't blame her for anything, and I've already forgiven both her and her boyfriend Jon. This is just to show what I've been going through.

After Chandra, I attempted a long distance relationship with Laura, who I had a crush on back in Florida and who apparently had a crush on me as well. That shit just went from bad to hell in no time at all. She still can't make up her mind as to whether she wants to be friends or wants nothing to do with me. I might add that she did keep flirting with me on the phone and online up until the point I made it clear I wanted a relationship. After that she acted like I had the plague for almost a year.

Morgan was only ever able to see and remember the bad things I did. I could do a million good things but as soon as I screwed up once it was like I was on trial for raping and killing babies or something. God forbid something comes up and I wasn't able to call her or get online. Things are better now, and I know she's like that because I told her I'd wait for her and then I started a relationship with Chandra, but again that doesn't stop me from hurting inside whenever she started up with me again.

Audrey. God this is probably the worst case yet. I'd met Audrey as Lunara Fox online about 8 or 9 years ago. She disappeared soon after we met, never to be seen again it seemed. She then showed up in my chatroom last year, out of no where. She'd presumably been gone due to her sister's death, her abusive boyfriend, etc etc. Anyway, she'd been going out with a guy who was not good for her. Up until recently I'd say he wasn't good for anyone. She tells me the only reason she doesn't break up with him is because the person she wants to be with is already taken. Asking who, she says me, to which I tell her that I wasn't in a relationship and hadn't been for almost a year now. So she breaks it off with Joe, her boyfriend, and gets together with me. Joe precedes to throw an immature shitfit, with the vengeful mind of an evil teenage asshole, and tries to blackmail her. Blackmail fails, but Audrey feels bad because she still cares for Joe yadda yadda yadda. This is when I get a glimpse of just how dishonest and calculating Audrey can be, good intentions or not. Long story short, she cheats on me TWICE with the guy who supposedly made her life hell when she was with him (Joe), I learn of so many lies and whatnot that she tells me, so on and so forth relationship is done with. With this relationship, I not only sacrificed my time and effort, but my sanity and my dignity as well. As I said it took her cheating twice, on top of countless lies, for the relationship to end.

So didn't mean for this to become a rant on my relationships, but oh well.

I feel like it's becoming a growing trend among everyone in the country to only look out for yourself, to gratify yourself in whatever way, and fuck anyone else. If other people happen to take pleasure in your pleasure, that's just a nice side affect. But if they don't, it's no big deal either.

In the words of a great mentor: "You know what REALLY grinds my gears? You America. FUCK YOU."

I keep saying I need to stop being a nice guy, but it's not going to happen. It's my nature. I always put my friends and my love interests above everything else, because I can't stand losing people and I'm always aiming to please everyone but my family and myself. But really, I shouldn't have to stop being a nice guy entirely. I admit I take it too far, but I'm not the one who needs an entire attitude adjustment. My friends need to fucking appreciate what I do and stop acting like I don't matter. And to those who do appreciate me, and who do care, and who do remember me without having to shove my business in your face, thank you so much. To everyone else, heat up those damn hearts of your's before they finally freeze from your coldness.

Let's see who remembers.

So apparently WIRED Magazine published a little rant I made months and months ago when they stated that Dir en grey got no airplay here. I pretty much told them in the initial email that they need to go back to journalism school, learn to do some research. I said how I had a show, Made In Japan, and I played them quite often. Not to mention the fact that I'm not the only Japanese playing FM radio DJ in the nation, heck not even on the east coast. But it's pretty cool that they put me in there. Maybe I'll get some more listeners out of it, ni?

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.10/rants.html

I'm not too fond of the fact that they had to use my real name.

Here I thought I was friends with Laura again, after that whole mess from so long ago. I mean it was kinda stated that we both wanted to be friends. I wanted it, I asked her about it, she seemed to think it was fine. But since then, after a few friendly IMs at first, it's been nothing but silence from her, and the one or two messages I'd get were very...un-friendly. So finally I come out and ask if we weren't friends and that if she wanted nothing to do with me to just say so. And so she said so. Why the hell do people do this? I don't get it? I mean she sees me commenting nice things on her profile, like congrats on finding someone special and stuff. Why just sit there and let me live in a lie? For Pete's sake was everything said about growing up, not lying to people, not toying with people just talking to the wall? God. People like this give me no hope for the future. People like this make me think "God is the whole world selfish and full of vile, putrid, venomous hearts that they just think people's emotions are to be stepped on?"

People are assholes. And by people, I mean people like Laura. Thanks for making me feel like shit so many times. I guess once wasn't enough.

Libra

Your element, Air, lends you grace and charm. You have a sure talent for delicacy and occasionally for nonchalance. You are very flexible and adapt yourself easily to different situations. You like change, novelty, and surprises. Like all the signs of Air you have a deep fear of boredom and routine. But you don't always know how to do what it takes to escape from them.

You love everything which can make life more beautiful or joyful. You adore all kinds of performance, and you also have gifts and talents in these areas. You have an idealistic vision of existence in which everything must be beautiful, life easy, love successful, and happiness perfect. You may therefore occasionally fall from this great height, and then feel yourself to be helpless. Your tendency then is to let yourself go.

Since Venus, the ruling planet of love, is your cardinal planet, love is the most important thing in your life. Love takes first place during your entire existence. You would like everything around you to be peace and harmony, with never a sign of conflict, tension, deception, or violence. You feel this need for love in an extremely sensual manner. You NEED to love, and in order to satisfy this desire you are very focussed on seduction, and you know how to seduce.

Occasionally this gets you in trouble, since you don't always know how to make wise choices. You run the risk therefore of getting involved with people who want to profit from your need for love.






Wow that describes me to a t o_o. Taken from http://avalon.albuquerque.nm.us/zodiac/

I'm sorry but that is just too good to pass up posting. I love ishkur.com!






"MARY MOTHER OF GOD MAKE IT STOP!"


I agree. Candy Ravers are scary.






This tells me not to go to the local raves here in the triangle.

Today I discovered that I was given the wrong key for the studio, and no one was able to help me x_x. I was fifteen minutes early getting there, but didn't get to sign on until it was thirty minutes late. In order to get in, after making several phone calls and running down the street, I had to call campus police. But it was worth it I think. I did a really awesome show today, lots of requests (for the show anyway). It was fun! Especially playing some of the stuff I did, like vgtvshow theme songs and the Go Goomba bit from Super Mario Bros. movie. Walk tall! Be proud! Go Goomba!

I was a tad annoyed coming into the station yesterday. First of all, Dr. Digital said he wasn't going to be there, so I planned this whole thing to do on my on, with an hour and a half of my own music, and a laptop to take requests from. I wanted to do this big thing for requests to get listeners involved. Not only was Dr. Digital there, but he brought a friend with him as well. I understand that it wasn't his fault that the event he was going to got rained out, and that it is his show, but it was annoying nontheless. But this wasn't the only problem, oh no. One of the engineers just happened to pick that morning to work on studio problems, and he had to shut down the webcast, which means a good fifteen to twenty listeners who probably would have made requests didn't get to. Then the second hour was just complete mayhem. Dr. Digital didn't care about putting up the playlist, and after 11 things just got hectic for some reason and we ended up not putting in anything. It was just insane and really really bad the way things were handled.

Although I will admit playing the end theme to the Super Mario Bros Super Show and that Japanese Zelda commercial (last song played) was really fun.

I am now a certified dj at WKNC. Listeners beware, I am on the air!

Most likely I'll continue doing the Video Game Revolution with Dr. Digital, but I hope to start doing Afterhours or Saturday Night 80s.

Hey all. Well for some reason I actually felt like writing something on LJ. I dunno why just did. Anyways, life has been pretty busy since my last update. I'm an English major now, so no more engineering classes for me. Everyone say huzzah! Speaking of huzzah, I went to the Renaissance Faire this weekend with friends of mine. We were all dressed up in some fashion or another, except Kofu, our friend Made in Taiwan XI. I was in ranger garb, sorta. Had my small sword strapped to my belt, my bow, and my quiver full of arrows. And had at least five people ask me where I got my bow. In other news, in case I haven't supplied this to some of you, I am a DJ for my school radio station, WKNC. I co-host with Dr. Digital every Saturday morning, playing video game music for two hours. I am of course DJ Kidna. Good stuff indeed. I've started applying for summer jobs, haven't heard back from any of them yet. But I have time to wait I guess. Oh and also, Animazement, our state anime con, is coming up in a month and a half, memorial day weekend. I'm going as Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter Alpha. Hisshou! Twill be fun. That's it for now I guess. If anyone more comes up I shall update once more.

Well even though I'm sure no one really reads this thing, I just feel like proclaiming this out to everyone (except my family cause they'll bitch and nag about it). I have a new love in my life, and her name is Audrey. True, she lives further away than anyone I've ever been, or tried to be, involved with, but that doesn't matter to me. I hold faith that things will work out. She was a friend from way back before I met everyone, and though we lost contact over the years, I suddenly find her in my RP chat. MY RP chat. Imagine the odds. So if that doesn't tell you there's something meant to happen, I don't know what does.